To be misunderstood is heartbreaking especially when on the inside you could not be more loving of the things you love and more giving of the things you give. Inside you could not be more true than you are. As I get older the one thing I notice is how much of life is often dictated by external things and external expectations.
I hear people who are the most stern or the most strong on the outside are the ones who hurt the most and would love to exhale. So much weight is being carried and so much is being considered. The impossible thing is that eventually you come to find those closest to you who should know you best, don’t. So the strategy is to try and hold you hostage using everything from guilt trips to what should happen by virtue of the relationship because of the relationship.
It has been a struggle to get to a place in my life where I no longer care what is thought of me; how I talk; what I say; how I feel; how I express myself. My mind asks the question : Is it really my issue because another has an issue with me? Is it really for me to sort out what it is they feel I should do or say?
As I have gotten older I realize the bondage of these concerns. It is bondage to allow another’s opinion to be so strong in your life and it is bondage to not establish boundaries and stick to them in terms of what and who you will allow in your life.
As I seek God’s way, I have learned that it is not to people that I give power over my life. It is to him and him alone. It is not the thoughts of people that should become my thoughts. The mind of Christ is the mind I seek. Higher thinking can cause a rift in relationships between friends or between family. But it is what it is. I’m okay with that.